How to Deal with Stubborn Teenagers Concord NC
How to Deal with Stubborn Teenagers
Author: Gerry Restrivera
The teenage years is a very difficult period not only for you as the parent but for you teenager as well. Most parents would ask how to deal with stubborn teenagers since this age is really where independence and individuality is cultivated. But you need not worry about this stage, a lot of parents have gone through their child’s own teenage years and most of them have actually succeeded.
Here are some hints on how to deal with stubborn teenagers:
One way to deal with stubborn teenagers is to listen very carefully – most parents are not aware of it, but stubborn teenagers can actually result from stubborn parents. After puberty, most kids think they are already adults ready to face the world; luckily, parents are wise enough to know that this is not true. However, parents may think too little of their teens to a point that they still treat them as kids whose ideas are just kid stuff.
The truth of the matter is, the teenager is more mature than kids, albeit still not mature enough – this means that your teenager may have something to say about themselves or the way they wish to be treated. Listen to what they say first before saying what you think. Oftentimes, parents just stubbornly and automatically deflect anything their teens have to say, this in turn makes the teenager just act like their stubborn parents and become stubborn teenagers.
When stubborn teenagers give their perspective, acknowledge it even if you do not agree. It is important for stubborn teenagers to know that you have heard their opinion on things. But you do not necessarily have to follow it or agree with it, after all, in most cases, your teen may just be asking for your advice or if you have other ideas in mind. After acknowledging your teen’s idea it is then you can say what you think should be.
To deal with stubborn teenagers, imagine yourself in your teenager’s shoes. You were also a teenager years or decades ago and you should know how difficult such times were. But do not dwell too much on your own experiences because your teen is probably facing different challenges in life. A lot of parents say things like “I know better because I have been there” in hopes of preventing their children from doing something. But that is actually an invitation for the child to be even more curious of such circumstances.
Another way to deal with stubborn teenagers is to avoid making use of labels when talking to your child, especially during arguments. Labels might sound meaningless when you blurt them out, but they can easily get into your teenager’s mind whether the label is positive or negative. It is important to allow your teenager to let him or her self be without labels being attached. Otherwise, stubbornness might stem from your teenager’s effort to veer away from the labels.
Try to avoid debating with your child about matters of opinion. Even if debates occur to convince a party of your opinion, what it actually does is to strengthen the other party’s hold on their opinion as both of you create reasons for believing your stand. In this case it is better to show why your opinion might be better and allow your teenager to see for himself or herself what makes you think you are right.
Stubbornness is somewhat inevitable for teenagers, but it might actually be a necessary trait at this point where they are developing their identities. What matters is that you are there for them at this critical stage with much love and understanding. With an open mind and a sound heart you would be able to know how to deal with stubborn teenagers.
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Gerry Restrivera writes informative articles on various subjects including Raising Your Young Adult: How to Deal with Stubborn Teenagers. You are allowed to publish this article in its entirety provided that author’s name, bio and website links must remain intact and included with every reproduction.
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